remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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