theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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