Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
