You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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