we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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