i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
