she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
They have beer where we have blood.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
