I think I am morally bankrupt
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
