ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
