She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
