i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize