I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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