i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
