The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
