He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
