I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
