were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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