stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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