I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
