3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
