I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We talked him into tasing himself.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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