I'd wear matching sweaters with you
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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