I must be too annoying 4 u.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
