Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
