i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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