Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
