She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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