He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize