You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
