I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
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Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
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And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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