i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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