i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
do herpes really smell.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
