I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
