he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
