I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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