At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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