Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
