kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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