im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
