Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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