God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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