Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize