Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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