first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
