well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
