Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
