sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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