Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
tell me about the eggs
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