no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize