Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
