i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
