waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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