You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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