First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
They should really pass out barf bags in church
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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