Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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