where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
