she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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