I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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